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Miss Night's Marbles

Musings, mumbles, marvels, and sometimes mockery, live from kindergarten.

Ask Miss Night: Taming the Transitions

Oh crap, that’s right, I HAVE A BLOG!

Hello friends. I know you have all been losing sleep, wondering what has happened to your beloved Miss Ni… Oh, who am I kidding?! You all have been living your lives, most of you teaching your kiddos, getting by just fine without me. Let’s all be honest here for a minute, and admit that one of the strongest realities of this line of work is how completely the day-to-day nitty-gritty can consume us – to a point that it seems we blink, and suddenly it is the end of October.

CAN I GET AN AMEN ON THAT?! (Or a what-what, or a whoop-whoop, or a hallelujah, or a hell-ya, or whatever exclamation of agreement you prefer…?)

Anyway, have no fear: I am back, with a great question from a reader we will call NE. NE is new to kindergarten, and is struggling with transition times. She says:

Well, since this is my first experience with Kindergarten I have no expectations of what is going to happen but here’s something I’m struggling with. My dismissal time routine is really rough as is right after lunch. With our schedule we eat lunch then start math. What are some attention grabbers you use to help keep the attention of your students? After unstructured time (lunch) my class is really wild and hard to settle down……
When I dismiss, I dismiss bus students then have the walkers get their backpacks from their lockers. As I’m watching for parents another unstructured time, the students seem to be wild and not wanting to read or do a puzzle.

First, dear NE, please know you are not alone. Dealing with transitions is one of the hardest part of teaching little ones. Even the most angelic group of kiddos can seem to turn into a whole other species at the times of day when there is more than one thing going on at once, or when they are waiting for the next thing to start. To make things worse, transitions often seem to happen at times of day when kids are tired (Post-recess! After lunch! End of the day!) and/or hungry (Pre-lunch! Before snack! End of the day!) And, even when you have  GREAT transition routines, there are still random days where those in-between times go back to being a 3-ring circus of chaos, and all you can do is breathe through them. The good news is: by their very definition, transition times MUST come to an end.

That said, there are things you can do to help things go more smoothly. Since it has been several weeks since you submitted your question, you may have discovered some of these, or stumbled into other solutions. I’m also going to ask the readers to share their best tips and tricks in the comments, since they are  ALWAYS much smarter than me!

My first approach would be to eliminate as many transitions as possible. Look critically at any time of day when you are asking the entire group to stop one thing, come together, and than start another thing. Is there a way to change it, or to create a routine that has less stop-and-start. My favourite example of this is doing snack as a centre rather than a whole-group activity: during my afternoon play centres, one table is designated as the snack centre, where children can choose to eat whenever they are hungry. This saves me multiple transitions – from play to cleanup to hand-washing to snack to cleanup to bag-packing. Instead, we just do play to cleanup to packing. So, for your lunch-to-math transition, is there a way to have a routine allowing each child to finish lunch, clean up, and start a math routine of some kind, without having to wait for everyone? A math journal? A designated shelf of math-related games or manipulatives? Something they can start independently, but that is not mandatory, so that the slow eaters can skip it if needed.

My second piece of advice would be to consider the noise level, as transitions are a time when it is WAY too easy for kids to get sucked into an escalating spiral of LOUDNESS, where the LOUDNESS makes them speak LOUDER to be heard over the LOUDNESS which makes everything LOUDER… you can see where I am going with this. While I am not a huge fan of making children be silent, a “no talking” rule, when used sparingly, can help kids focus on the task at hand, and develop the self-regulation to move through a particularly difficult transition. My current group has been struggling with the “getting ready for recess” routine (we are already into snow pants and heavy coats and boots and hats and mittens), and just last week we instituted a “no talking until you are dressed” rule. It is not my favourite, and will not be the rule forever, but right now it is helping them stay focused on details like “MITTENS GO LAST.” So, for you, NE, are there times where a temporary “no talking” or “whispers only” rule would help create a habit of calm and focus?

My final addition to a transition tool kit is songs and chants. Songs, poems, and fingerplays are your best weapon at any time that some of the kids are waiting for others to be ready, or when ALL the kids are waiting for an event or activity. Sing, sing, sing. Find songs for the transitions themselves (like a cleanup song), and sing songs while you wait. If half the kids are at the circle and the other half are still wrapping up lunch, start singing with the carpet kids. It will keep them out of trouble, and the slower cleaner-uppers will hurry to join you. SInging a familiar song at steadily decreasing volume can help bring a group together and quiet, so you can start instruction without battling chatter.

There you go, NE: my three best techniques for taming the transition monster. Now, awesome readers, please share your brilliance in the comments, because I  KNOW you know way more things than me.

And don’t worry, i won’t leave you hanging this long again!

Have a question for Miss Night and the readers? Click on the button to submit it.

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Ask Miss Night: Potty Punishment?

As promised last week, today’s question is about bathroom breaks in primary school.  The “asker” is not a teacher, but a grandmother who is raising two of her grandchildren. She pulled them out of foster care to raise them herself — so let’s call her SuperGrandma!

SuperGrandma asks:

After reading your “Why I don’t do behaviour charts” story, I forwarded the link to my grandchildren’s principal along with my opinion of the story on asked whether they were using these in class and if so, they may want to rethink.  Coincidentally enough, last night I mentioned open house next week at school and my grandson,7, in 2nd grade, stated that he was not going.  (…) I dug a little further and he blurted out that in class they cannot use the restroom unless it is at recess or after school because their teacher says it takes time away from learning. If they need to go during class they must “pull a stick” to red. Trying to give the teacher the benefit of the doubt, I suggested to my grandson that maybe it was his behaviour coupled with having to go.  He said it wasn’t and was so upset that he HAD to pull his stick because he was going to go in his pants and he loses 5 minutes of recess for pulling the stick to red.  This morning I called the teacher and asked her if it was true.  She matter-of-factly told me it was and that it is 2nd grade policy. I am appalled! I bit my tongue, but told her that my grandson actually has medical issues and has signed forms in his file from a doctor, stating he is to go to the restroom every 2 hours whether he needs to or not, and must be allowed to go if he needs to. All she said was, she didn’t know and she would check his file. Does this happen in any other classroom? Are children punished for having to use the restroom? I can understand if there was a consequence for abusing restroom breaks. I am angry, but don’t want to start the school year off on a bad note.  I would like to bring this up with the principal, any suggestions? Advice?

So, to recap: the second grade teacher has a system whereby children must “pull a stick” if they need to go to the bathroom during instructional time, and if they pull a stick, they lose 5 minutes of recess. Also, the teacher was less-than-responsive to the possibility of a legitimate medical issue that should allow SuperGrandson to use the bathroom whenever he needs to. As a result of all this, SuperGrandson is already hating school after only a few weeks.

Ok, so let’s just start with the fact that every time I have re-read SuperGrandma’s message, I have felt my blood pressure rise and my heart start to pound. There are so many pieces of this that are upsetting to me, and, while all the pieces are related, I’m going to try and stay calm and address them separately. So, take a deep breath, friends, and lets dive in….

First a preface: all of my points below assume that there are no other behaviour issues relating to the use of the bathroom. I’m thinking here of things like: wandering the halls instead of going straight to and from the restroom, asking for bathroom breaks to avoid classroom activities that may be “boring” or difficult, having “bathroom parties” with other little boys who may be in there (someone PLEASE tell me I am not the only teacher who regularly breaks up this sorts of parties, which usually involve splashing water and squirting soap at one another…?!). That said, on to my thoughts:

1: The use of a behaviour management “system.”  You all already know how I feel about this. This particular situation is actually a great illustration of why I think these systems do not serve children well at all. A class-wide system does not allow for the particular needs of this particular child without his medical issue becoming public, possibly embarrassing, knowledge. In a relationship-based classroom, the needs of individual children can be accommodated INDIVIDUALLY, in a way that reinforces an important life lesson: Fair doesn’t mean same.

2: Bathroom use being considered a behaviour issue, and having a consequence. Even without SuperGrandson having a medical issue that affects his toileting needs, second graders are still very young, and many still have pretty short warning periods before they are at risk of having an accident. Even in kindergarten, we can work with children to start being aware of the best times to leave the classroom. (I have been known to ask “Is it an emergency, or can you wait until the end of circle/your friend is back/after the story?”) but a child who reports that it is an emergency should ALWAYS be allowed to go the bathroom when they need to go. This policy is also a little self-serving: I’d really rather not deal with toileting accidents if I can possibly prevent it. I’m surprised that a second grade teacher is willing to risk accidents by being punitive in her approach to bathroom routines.

Illustrative example: when I was in third grade, my teacher had a system where we had to write our names on the board the first time we went to the bathroom each day, and we had to add a checkmark to our times every subsequent time. At the end of the day, she would point out who had been to the bathroom the most times. I have NEVER seen or heard of so many toileting accidents – in THIRD grade.

Bottom line: The system of “pulling a stick” turns normal toileting into a behavioural issue, and that makes me very uncomfortable.

3: Losing recess as a consequence. Ok this probably deserves a blog post of its very own, but I am of the opinion that primary-aged children should generally NOT lose recess time as a consequence for in-class issues (never mind something like toileting, which should not BE an “issue” to begin with.)  Recess is not a “treat,” it is an important and valuable part of the school day. Exercise, fresh air, unstructured time with friends are POSITIVE, important, contributors to children’s growth and learning. Taking these things away is likely to make behaviour challenges WORSE, not better. Considering toileting a behaviour issue makes this practice even more questionable to me.

4: Poor response to a legitimate medical concern. If SuperGrandson has a medical concern that requires him to have free access to the restroom, that should immediately trump any classroom system or “second grade policy.” Additionally, any medical issues (especially one that affects something as sensitive as toileting) should be dealt with as discreetly and respectfully as possible. To me, that would mean completely removing toileting from the list of offenses that require “pulling a stick”  for ANY of the students. (I would take it one step further, and suggest it would mean dismantling the entire “stick system,” but that may be too much to ask for.)

So, SuperGrandma, my advice is this: first, I would request a face-to-face meeting with the teacher, and ask her to describe the philosophy behind the “system” as well as share the complete list of offenses that require kids to pull a stick. I think that listening to her first will create a more positive environment for both of you. I would then explain SuperGrandson’s medical concerns, and request that toileting not have any negative consequences for him. I don’t know if you will have any success requesting the removal of the behaviour system, but it may be worth asking if the “second grade policy” could exclude toileting for ALL the children. If that meeting is not productive or satisfactory, I would then speak with the principal.

This is a tough one, because there are two “levels” of concern: 1 – looking after SuperGrandson’s specific needs, and 2 – questioning systems and policies that affect ALL of the children in 2nd grade. While I am hopeful that SuperGrandma can address level 1 satisfactorily, I am more cautious about the likelihood of change at level 2.. My best hope is that this conversation, about THIS child, may, at some point, prompt the teacher to re-consider….

Readers – anything I missed? Any light to shed?

SuperGrandma – any updates now that we are several weeks into the school year?

Happy weekend to all!

Miss Night

Click here to submit your own question to Miss Night:

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“Behaviour management”: not systems, but relationships

Preface: I continue to be overwhelmed, in the best possible way, at the response to Too High A Price: Why I Don’t Do Behavior Charts. It seems I really struck a chord with many readers. Thanks to all of you who shared that post, and especially to those who commented, saying it changed (or was going to change) your practice. I am honoured. In the comments on that post (as well as in a question submitted to Ask Miss Night), many of you asked how I DO manage behaviour in my classroom. At long last, here is the follow-up!

How do I manage behaviour in my classroom?

As silly as it sounds, this question caught me a little off-guard. How do I manage behaviour without charts or stickers or a treasure chest? I just DO.

That answer, of course, is woefully inadequate. Obviously, there are things I DO, guiding principles I follow. The challenge becomes putting those things into words. You all would not believe the number of showers and car rides I have spent trying to articulate exactly how and why and when and where I manage behaviour in my classoom. (Come on, admit it, you do your best thinking in the shower and the car, too…)

So, gallons of water and tanks of gas later, here are the points that kept floating to the surface. They are sort of in a logical order, but also all inter-related. They have come from so many places: the kind of parenting I received, the schools I attended, reading and research, experience  both broad (thousands of children, literally) and specific (singular moments that changed my practice forever). Before I begin, a sidebar: I am not in love with the terms “management” and “behaviour” in this context; both have connotations that make me uncomfortable. I use them here for the sake of clarity. The issue of vocabulary seems like another post, for another day.

  • Fact: I do not run a permissive classroom. I have heard parents say “there is no nonsense in Miss Night’s room,” and they are correct (note that, in spite of the lack of nonsense, my room is still full of laughter and smiles and hugs and songs and music and fun). I have high high expectations for my students, but those expectations are grounded in trust and faith that children, given the right support, and the right environment, can manage themselves very nicely. The children in my room get lots of freedom and lots of choice, but they also know that those freedoms and choices are privileges. That said, at first glance, my classroom might APPEAR permissive, because:
  • I have a very specific definition of  ”problem behaviour.” A behaviour is ONLY a problem if it interferes with a child’s safety and learning or the safety and learning of others. Period. A behaviour that is annoying to me is not automatically a problem. Think on that for a minute. How often have you reprimanded or disciplined a child for doing something that was annoying you? I’m embarrassed to say how often I have done just that (let’s be clear – I am far from perfect in all this….) With this definition, a whole bunch of things STOP being problems — wiggling during circle; slouching in a chair; looking at the ceiling during a story, sitting on their knees instead of their bottoms; walking in a zig-zag instead of a straight line — unless and until it becomes obvious that these things are dangerous or detrimental to learning.
  •  Fair doesn’t mean same. Fair means everybody gets what they need. This is one of the first social lessons I teach, and we talk about this A LOT. The example I use is that, if fair means same, then EVERYONE should eat when *I* am hungry, because otherwise it’s not fair. On the other hand, if fair means everybody gets what they need, then everybody should get to eat when they are hungry. Five-year-olds have no problem grasping this, and we discuss it repeatedly throughout the year. Without teaching this lesson, I could not run my classroom the way I do. It lays the foundation for the next two points.
  • I manage children as individuals, not as a group. Johnny concentrates better sitting on a chair than on the floor; Johnny is allowed a chair at story time. Natasha has no problem on the floor. She does not get a chair. Natasha does, however, have trouble printing her name, so on her work, I write her name in highlighter for her to trace over for the first several weeks. Samantha has no problem with her name, but struggles to keep her hands to herself. She can choose a fidget toy during whole group instruction. Raymond is the only child who frequently falls asleep at rest time; he is the only one who is allowed to rest behind my desk so that he will not be disturbed when we start centres. When you really get to know your students, you know that EVERY child has “special needs.” When the children understand what “fair” means, you can meet those needs without worrying about accusations of favouritism. (Although, sometimes, you have to teach parents and colleagues what “fair” means, too.)
  • I normalize the tools that help children manage their own behaviour. Just as students ask for help with their school work, they need to know it is okay to ask for help with their behaviour. If a child asks for a break from the carpet, she can have it. If he knows he will do better in line by walking with me, he can. If she can’t stop chatting with her neighbour, I will help her find a place to work alone. Leaving the carpet, holding my hand, sitting alone, are NOT punishments: I don’t present them as punishments, and I work hard to change the kids’ perception of punishment. These are choices and tools that help children be their best selves. These are also choices that, as adults, we frequently have the freedom to make for ourselves. And, speaking of choices:
  • Choice is a privilege. My students get lots of choices. They choose their first activity upon arrival. They choose which “work” to do first. They choose where to lay at rest time. They choose their play centres. They choose when to have afternoon snack. Kids like having choices, having a voice in the path their day takes. But (and it’s a BIG “but”) if they are not managing those choices well, the privilege of choice is lost. A child who is wondering the classroom, harassing others and not settling into an activity, will be assigned an activity. A child who is kicking her neighbour at rest time will be assigned a spot with no neighbours. I rarely need any consequences other than “loss of choice.”
  • I look for patterns. If I am constantly correcting the same behaviour from the same child at the same time in the same spot every day: is there a way to break the pattern? If there is pushing in the lineup to wash hands EVERY DAY, how can I change the lineup routine? Can I give them more space? Send some to the bathroom? Make the lineup go faster? Give them something to do while they wait? Sometimes, changing the pattern means changing what I think I know about something. After months of intervening with little boys playing “too rough,” I did some research, talked to some people, and re-framed my understanding of  rough-and-tumble play. Looking for patterns with individual children works, too. If Peter lashes out and hits other kids in the crowded coatroom, maybe Peter would manage better if his cubby was not IN THE MIDDLE of the coatroom. Again, in an environment where “fair doesn’t mean same” and children are given choices and tools to meet their needs, Peter will likely accept an offer to move his cubby, and, because he CHOSE, it doesn’t feel like punishment.
  • I don’t have “systems.” I have relationships. As I re-read these now, it is that simple. I cannot think of a single system or routine in my classroom that is applied universally to every child at all times in all situations. What works for one does not work for another and makes things even worse for a third. I have had situations with specific children where the best way to communicate about behaviour was to have a private “chart” that went home every day. This is not my favourite strategy, but it was the best one for THAT child and THAT family in THAT situation. For other kids, it has been best to cue them in advance of any potentially challenging event. For still others, we have role-played and practiced the right words and actions.
I know there are naysayers out there, who will find this all too nebulous, too airy-fairy and hippie-dippie to be manageable. I don’t have an answer for those people. For me, these 8 truths simply work. I don’t know if they will work for you, too. I would, however, challenge you to try just one of them. Re-define problematic behaviour. Find and change a pattern. Focus on your relationship with a challenging child. And then, please, come back here and let me know how it went.
Need more detail? Unsure of how to apply this to a specific child or situation? Submit your question to Ask Miss Night!
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Ask Miss Night: $30,000 worth of books?! YIPPEE!

Hello friends!

I know that at the end of  last week’s Ask Miss Night, I promised that this week would focus on a situation where a teacher is counting bathroom trips as discipline issues (seriously. You can probably guess where I’m going to stand on that one), and I PROMISE I will still write that column this weekend, but first, a sort-of-an-emergency question from NewfieNelly.

Nelly teaches at a small rural school where most of the classes are multi-grade, and she has the BEST problem EVER:

I  know this question is specific to my situation, but I think maybe a lot of people would like a list of good books to read. Our school was recently awarded a large sum of money to build a library.  ($30,000!) What is your dream list of children’s books?  (The grant is intended for k-8).

Ok, readers, I know you are all much smarter than me, so please help Nelly out on this one: what are the MUST HAVES for a school library for K-8 students? Dream big – $30,000 is a lot of book money!

My initial list, off the top of my very tired head:

  • The complete works of Beverly Cleary, Judy Blume, Mo Willems, Laura Numeroff, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Robert Munsch, Gordon Korman.
  • The entire Magic Treehouse Series.
  • All of the I Spy books, in hardcover.
  • All the Madeline, Curious George, Olivia, Eloise, and Franklin books.
  • Several complete sets of Harry Potter
  • For the big kids: the Hunger Games & Divergent trilogies, all the Jodi Picoult books (I do not LOVE all of them, but they are fiction of reasonable quality in a format that appeals to many teenagers), everything by Barbara Kingsolver.
  • The Poetry for Young People series published by Scholastic.
  • Everything by Shel Silverstein.

I know this is just the tip of the iceberg, and I’m sure I will be inspired by your suggestions, so please GO NUTS in the comments!

Happy Friday, friends.

Miss Night

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Ask Miss Night: Sending a child back to kindergarten?

Today’s Ask Miss Night question is from one of my real-life friends in California (don’t worry, she submitted the form following the proper channels. No favoritism around here!), who is asking on behalf of another friend of hers.  Let’s call my friend Suzybelle. It is relevant that Suzybelle is also a public school teacher, and while she is teaching 3rd grade this year, she has taught first grade in the past. She has a ton of experience with kids in general, as a riding instructor and summer camp counselor. She is also a fun and lovely human being, but that may be of less interest to you all.

Suzybelle sums up the situation very well:

I was approached by a good friend (who is also a public school teacher but in special education). Her son has been in Montessori pre-school and kindergarten but is enrolled in public school for 1st grade. After 4 days of school, the teacher approached my friend’s husband (at Back to School Night) stating the child is missing some phonic skills and should be moved back to kindergarten. My friend says that he knows letter names and sounds, but not all of them. She says they just don’t seem to be “sticking”. From my observation and interactions with him (horseback riding lessons), this boy is at a 1st grade maturity level, has above average vocabulary and communication skills. He seems to be handling the math work in class well, has made many friends and so far, seems to be enjoying school.  From what I understand, the teacher is only concerned with his reading issues.  I have my own opinion on the situation, but would love to hear your thoughts.  Also, in general how do you feel about “retaining” students for a second year in the same grade?

Ok, this question pushes all kinds of buttons for me. If you check out my post on kindergarten readiness, you’ll probably be able to guess that, as a general rule, it is my belief that it is a teacher’s job to be ready for children, and not vice versa. This philosophy holds through at grade levels long past kindergarten. Teachers at all levels are going to get students who are strong in some areas and weaker in others, and it is OUR JOB to teach all of them. That said, a few related thoughts:

(First, a moment of full disclosure: In the last 4 years, I can think of two situations where a child was enrolled at my school in 1st grade, and within 2 days, a unanimous decision between parent, admin, and teacher was made that the child would be better served in a kindergarten environment. It is significant that both of these children had underlying developmental challenges, had no previous exposure to French (we are a French immersion school), and were sobbing heaps of frustrated exhaustion at the end of the first two days of first grade. Both of these children are still at our school and doing well in their current year level.)

  • Is kindergarten mandatory in California? If not, the teacher really has no business even suggesting that the child needs to return there. In places where kindergarten is not mandatory, public school first grade teachers need to be prepared for the possibility of being a child’s very first school experience. (We can talk about whether kindergarten or prekindergarten SHOULD be mandatory in another post, if that would be interesting to all of you…) If I taught public school first grade here, that would be my reality, too.
  •  Based on my own experience, I have found that children who have attended a strongly Montessori-based program prior to attending a more teacher-directed program often have an adjustment period as they adapt to the new classroom structure. I assume the same would be true for a child moving from teacher-directed to Montessori. This adjustment time is completely separate from a child’s ability to handle the content of a new grade level, and is analogous to an adult moving from, say, a punch-the-clock work environment to a set-your-own hours situation.

Those two thoughts aside, my overall instinct from Suzybelle’s  description of this little guy is that he is doing just fine in first grade, and should stay there. HOWEVER: if the teacher has made up her mind that he doesn’t belong in her class, that may make her less likely to work with him to develop his phonics skills and ensure he has an overall good first grade year. I think that his parents will need to pay close attention to his general attitude toward school and reading, and intervene if necessary. That intervention may involve extra academic support, or an honest conversation with the teacher and/or principal. Also, I don’t know if it is possible to explore other classroom placements, or how disruptive that would be to this little guy at this point. In general, I think that changing classes or schools mid-year is disruptive to kids, and shouldn’t be taken lightly. If kiddo seems to feel happy, safe, and connected in his current classroom, that is meaningful feedback. Should that change, then a new teacher or school may be worth exploring.

As to the larger question of retention: first, I think that there is an important difference between retention and demotion. It is one thing for parents, teacher, and admins to decide that a child’s needs will be best met with another year of kindergarten or preschool. It is quite another for a child to start at one level and then be demoted after a few days or weeks, especially if that demotion occurs within the walls of the same school building. Kids know what that means, and I think it is extremely difficult for them to experience it as anything other than a rejection.

In terms of true retention, where a child repeats an entire grade level: I think that it is better for it to happen earlier in a child’s  career than later, as the social stigma only grows; that it is better to have an extra year of kindergarten than to repeat first grade. I think that, in some cases, with some children, the best way to deal with it may be to start in a new school setting. And, even with all of that in the background: I believe that retention needs to be considered only in situations where a child shows significant challenges in multiple areas of development, where those challenges are best addressed in a kindergarten setting, and where everyone: teachers, admins, and parents has articulated the goals and purpose of the retention very clearly. In other words, lack of mastery of one particular skill or concept is NOT grounds for retention. In contrast to popular practice, I am starting to believe that children who are retained in kindergarten may be best placed with the same teacher for both years, to ensure that their academic progress continues from where it left off. I also think that children who are vulnerable to being retained may benefit from that consistent sustained relationship. I have had 2 students who have done 2 years with me. Both were traumatized children who needed the security of knowing they would be back in a familiar setting, and who could only make good academic progress once they felt safe emotionally. In both of those cases, I feel retention was the right choice; however, my first reaction any time a teacher brings up the possibility of retaining a child is still to push back, to question them hard, and to dig DEEP into the reasoning. Retention should not be common practice, it should not be taken lightly, and it should be considered only when a child has received every possible support and strategy to be equipped for the next grade level.

In other words: retention should be considered only when it is the best possible way for the school to meet the child’s needs, NOT when it is the best way to ensure the child fits the school’s needs.

Ok, Suzybelle, I don’t know if this answers your question, but I hope your little friend is doing well. Give us an update in the comments if you can. As always, readers, feel free to share your thoughts – what is common practice around retention in your school or district? How do you feel about it?

Next week: Should going to the bathroom during the school day be considered a behaviour issue?

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