Ok, so… I signed up for Blogher’s August NaBloPoMo. (To save you some googlage: NaBloPoMo is short for NAtional BLOg POsting MOnth. You’re welcome.) Basically, the deal is that you commit to blogging every day for an entire month, and you put the pretty badge (over there to your left) up so everyone knows you are doing it and can support you. The theme of the suggested prompts for August is “Sweet” but you don’t have to use the prompts if you don’t want to. Can you tell I’m sort of trying to convince you all to do this with me? Because I am. I like to write. I want to write more. I want to write better. The way to write better is to write more. SOOOOO, here I am.
The timing of this whole thing is interesting, because I also just started a one-week (maybe more?) break from social media. I’m not sure if blogging counts as social media, but here is my rationale: blogging is something I do FOR ME. It is, by definition, about what is going on inside of my head and my heart. And, while other social media (most notably Facebook and Twitter) are FOR ME to some extent, they also provide a steady stream of the contents of other people’s heads and hearts, and conversations about those contents, and lately I have felt like those conversations are emptying me out instead of filling me up. Ugh, I feel like this sounds so self-absorbed and selfish. IT SHOULD BE ABOUT ME! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOU! STOP MAKING ME HAVE CONVERSATIONS! YOU’RE SUCKING ME DRY! Seriously. Why do you people like me?
Let’s try again: There is a little over 2 weeks left before I will start gearing up for next school year. To start a year well, I need to be full-up: on energy, on sleep, on focus, on patience, on good humour, on perspective. Right now, for reasons both clear and unclear, I am not full up on those. I know myself, and I know that to fill up, I need quiet. Not just actual quiet as in “absence of noise,” (although that is a part of it, and in addition to my social media fast, I am trying to reduce the actual noise level in my world. (In brief: I’m not playing music or podcasts or TV just for background noise. If those things are on, I’m going to actually LISTEN to them.)) but also as in having a quieter mind (less multi-tasking, more reflection, more focus on the moment), and a quieter body (more exercise, done with more intention. More healthy food. More time outside.). I need to hang out face to face with people who fill me up. I need to sit on the deck with my coffee and look at my “garden” and hear no voice but my own.
If you know me, you know I LOVE me some social media. The power of it, to both strengthen existing relationships in spite of time and distance, and to create new relationships, leaves me weak with gratitude on a regular basis. But when you’re in conversation ALL. THE. TIME. it’s easy to lose the sound of your own voice singing solo. I love dialogue, but for this introvert, my internal monologue is the compass that guides me. I’m glad to know you all are out there, reading my monologues. I welcome your comments. I hope you understand.
Love and lots of it;
P.S. The official NaBloPoMo prompt for today is: “Name something sweet you ate today.” For breakfast, I had peanut butter and raspberry jam on a whole-wheat English muffin. It was sweet, and delicious. I ate it while sitting on my deck with my coffee, looking at my garden. Things are off to a good start.